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Subject:  Parent Humor

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     AMNESIA: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to 
     desire another child.
     DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.
     FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your
     children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of 
     financial disaster.
     FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't appreciate the 
     strained carrots.
     FULL NAME:  What you call your child when you're mad at him.
     GRANDPARENTS:  The people who think your children are wonderful even 
     though they're sure you're not raising them right.
     HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
     IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.
     INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do 
     everything we say.
     OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.
     PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own.
     PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing 
     dry shoes into it.
     SHOW OFF: A child who is more talented than yours.
     STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and 
     to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.
     TOP BUNK:
     Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.
     TWO-MINUTE WARNING: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to 
     make those familiar grunting noises.
     VERBAL: Able to whine in words.
     WHODUNIT: None of the kids that live in your house.

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