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To: comic@superkids.com
Subject:  Hey You - Out of the gene pool!

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Here are some dandy examples of our (simian?) ancestral brains at work...

Enjoy!

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Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel
after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.

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A man in Johannesburg, South Africa, shot his 49-year-old friend in the
face, seriously wounding him, while the two practiced shooting beer cans
off each other's head.

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A company trying to continue its five-year perfect safety record showed
its workers a film aimed at encouraging the use of safety goggles on the
job. According to Industrial Machinery News, the film's depiction of gory
industrial accidents was so graphic that twenty-five workers suffered
minor injuries in their rush to leave the screening room.  Thirteen others
fainted, and one man required seven stitches after he cut his head falling
off a chair while watching the film.

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The Chico, California, City Council enacted a ban on nuclear weapons,
setting a $500 fine for anyone detonating one within city limits.

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A bus carrying five passengers was hit by a car in St. Louis, but by the
time police arrived on the scene, fourteen pedestrians had boarded the bus
and had begun to complain of whiplash injuries and back pain.

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Swedish business consultant Ulf af Trolle labored 13 years on a book about
Swedish economic solutions. He took the 250-page manuscript to be copied,
only to have it reduced to 50,000 strips of paper in seconds when a worker
confused the copier with the shredder.

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A convict broke out of jail in Washington D.C., then a few days later
accompanied his girlfriend to her trial for robbery. At lunch, he went out
for a sandwich. She needed to see him, and thus had him paged.  Police
officers recognized his name and arrested him as he returned to the
courthouse in a car he had stolen over the lunch hour.

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When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan, refused to hand
over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the
police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.
 
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A Los Angeles man who later said he was "tired of walking," stole a
steamroller and led police on a 5 mph chase until an officer stepped
aboard and brought the vehicle to a stop.

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